Strength
by Cath1
Summary: TM post series 2. Michelle thinks about the events that have occurred over the last 24 hours.


Title: Strength

Author: Cath

Feedback/Reviews: Greatly appreciated

Disclaimer: They belong not to I.

Notes: This is my first 24 fanfic. I wasn't going to write fic again, but the more I tell myself that, the less it becomes true.

Anyway, having read numerous T/M post series 2 fics, I sadly felt the need to write my own. I only hope that you can forgive me. Also, I hope that you like it.

Set after season 2.

Tony/Michelle pairing.

* * *

She cries herself to sleep the first night. Alone, in bed, she doesn't need to be strong. 

Exhausted but unable to sleep, the events of the day and their impact finally dawn on her. And when she thinks about what has been lost, it makes the back of her throat ache with unshed tears, until at last they fall freely. She cries into the early hours of the next day; her body gasping for air. The sobs echo in the room and only worsen as she recalls yet more detail.

And in this moment she knows she will never recover, not really. She'll never forget what occurred in those hours.

And at this moment she doesn't want to.

Sleep does not come easily.

* * *

With only a skeleton crew left at CTU, she cannot hide from work. 

Instead, she allows it to consume her; to overthrow every image and thought that might cause her to break.

There is much to be done and she is grateful for that. For in the moments that she stops, looks over at the wreckage left, at the people left behind, she feels her heart begin break into a thousand pieces and it all threatens to overcome her.

She cannot allow that. Not here. Not now. She needs to be strong.

Glances over at Tony as he talks to Chappelle in his glass chamber are infrequent, but still exist. She needs to remember what she gained.

Later, she impulsively invites him out for drinks.

* * *

Uncharacteristically, she drinks in order to get drunk. She needs to decimate the thoughts that protrude into her waking moments and eliminate those that threaten to exist in her sleep. 

She is grateful that he doesn't question her actions; he understands her pain.

They do not discuss work. They do not discuss the events which occurred the day before in any manner; the feelings are too close to the surface. They do not discuss the moment that they shared; neither knows how to broach the subject.

Instead, she invites him back to hers for coffee.

They arrive at her apartment and she closes the door behind them. Momentarily hesitating, unsure of the correct etiquette, she turns, presses him against the door, kissing him. It is a kiss of passion; of something nearing love, but it is also through the desperation of needing to feel something.

He understands and reciprocates.

Ordinarily, she would not sleep with someone on the first date, but she feels none of this reluctance.

Like the kiss, it is not only through the consumption of alcohol, but through passion, emotion and the need for physical contact that she makes her decision to proceed. She knows that he comprehends, that he feels the same way.

Their first time is defined by raw emotion. It is passionate, and all consuming, and both feel physically satisfied by the end.

Afterwards, she breaks down and can't explain why. She apologises through her tears but he doesn't mind and embraces her in his arms, letting her know that he is there for her.

She sleeps a little easier that night.

* * *

She wakes with a hangover, her head throbbing with the light of morning. She does not regret the night before. He still sleeps and she watches him, transfixed. 

She remembers her reason for wanting to continue living.

Later he wakes and is amused by her need to watch him, touch him.

He enjoys seeing this side of her; observing her in a more vulnerable state. She begins to relax in his presence.

* * *

She divides her time between work and Tony over the next few days. It's not necessarily a very healthy state of living, but it's what allows her to cope with the pain. 

It's what allows her to remain strong.

Throughout the memorial services and funerals over the days and weeks she clings to these vices.

Somehow, she gets through it all, internalising the pain and emotion where necessary.

* * *

Time passes. CTU is rebuilt.

She starts to rebuild her life.

She tells herself that she is stronger for what she has been through; she no longer thinks of those lost so frequently or with such sadness and bitterness.

Her relationship with Tony eventually depends less on these emotions and starts to become something real and tangible; she is not surprised to feel herself falling in love with him.

She does not know if she would have coped without him. She lets him know this in one moment of vulnerable honesty as they lie in bed together.

He smiles, wraps his arms around her, and tells her that she is strong. And that he loves her because of this.

* * *

FINI 


End file.
